(Translation: I couldn't find any more good new articles on other subjects. As a professional retired lazy bum, since January 2005, and a proud member of the Professional Lazy Bum's Union, I knew the proper procedure: Republish a good article from a prior year. I had this article from 2019 in my files)
I have something relaxing, and informative, for you to read: These "quotes" were re-formatted, and many commas were added, so I could take some credit.
The "quotes" are from a 1990 book:
Pentz was a minister, pastor and chaplain in New Jersey. His book consists of 6,000 one-sentence sayings, which he calls "sentence sermons". Some are originals -- most are not. Unfortunately, no 'authors' are listed. Defining the authors accurately is often a problem with quotes. Some quotes are credited to the people who made them popular, rather than the originator, Some are revised versions of the original quotes. And some probably came from Grandma, who got no credit for her wisdom!
Here are my favorite 'sentence sermons' from "Zingers".
I tried to sort them into 10 broad categories -- you may want to start with your favorite category:
(1) CHARACTER
(2) RELATIONSHIPS
(3) MARRIAGE
(4) HAPPINESS
(5) WORK
(6) WISDOM
(7) EDUCATION
(8) AGING
(9) POLITICS
(10 OTHER
.
(1) CHARACTER
It is better to be
short of cash,
than to be
short of character.
.
Character is what you are
when no one is watching.
.
You can easily judge
the character of a man,
by how he treats those
who can do nothing for him,
or to him.
.
The company
we choose
is always an index
of our character.
.
The greatest evil
is indifference
toward evil.
.
You have not really lived
until you have done something
for someone who can not repay you.
.
When in doubt,
tell the truth.
.
When you tell the truth,
you don't have to remember
what you said.
.
If there's one thing
we should let others
find out for themselves,
it's how great we are.
.
Tact is changing the subject
without changing your mind.
.
How you spend
your time
is more important
than how you spend
your money.
.
Reputation is what you have
when you come into town;
character is what you have
when you leave.
.
.
(2) RELATIONSHIPS
You never get a second chance,
to make a good first impression.
.
Of all things you wear,
your expression
is most important.
.
He who tells the faults
of others to you,
will tell your faults to others
at the first opportunity.
.
When you ask someone
to keep a secret,
you are asking someone
to do something you can't.
.
An apology is a good way
to have the last word.
.
To find fault is easy
-- to do better is difficult.
.
When looking for faults,
use a mirror,
not a telescope.
.
Look over your own faults,
and soon you will overlook
the faults of others.
.
Count your blessings
-- your critics
are keeping track
of your mistakes.
.
If you wouldn't
write it, and sign it,
then don't say it.
.
An ounce of thought,
may prevent
a pound of apology.
.
It takes a child
two years
to learn to talk
-- it takes a man
all his life,
to learn how to keep
his mouth shut.
.
When I am right
-- nobody remembers.
When I am wrong
-- nobody forgets.
.
An angry man
is seldom reasonable,
a reasonable man
is seldom angry.
.
.
(3) MARRIAGE
To have
a successful marriage
-- whenever
you are wrong,
admit it;
when you are right,
keep your mouth shut.
.
Before criticizing
your wife's faults,
remember that they
may have prevented her
from getting
a better husband.
.
A good salesman is the fellow
who can convince his wife
she looks fat in a fur coat.
.
Behind every successful man,
stands a devoted wife,
and a surprised mother-in-law.
.
Love is giving someone
your undivided attention.
.
A woman likes
a strong, silent man,
because she thinks
he is listening.
.
An argument is two people
trying to get in the last word.
.
About the only time
a woman really succeeds
in changing a male,
is when he's a baby.
.
.
(4) HAPPINESS
Happiness is not
having what you want
-- but wanting
what you have.
.
A contented person,
is one who enjoys
the scenery
along the detour.
.
Many people
want
what they
don't need,
and need
what they
don't want.
.
You have
the rest of your life
to be miserable,
so enjoy today.
.
Happiness
is not doing
what you like,
it is liking
what you do.
.
.
(5) WORK
A conference room
is a place,
where everybody talks,
nobody listens,
and everyone disagrees
afterwards.
.
After all is said,
and done,
more is said,
than done.
.
The only exercise
some people get
is jumping to conclusions,
sidestepping responsibility,
and pushing their luck.
.
People tend to make
rules for others,
and exceptions
for themselves.
.
Small opportunities,
are often the beginning
of great achievements.
.
If, at first,
you don't succeed,
you are like most people.
.
You know a man is successful,
when the newspapers
start quoting him on subjects
he knows nothing about.
.
If a fool and his money
are soon parted,
how come they got together
in the first place?
.
A man must be big enough
to admit his mistakes,
smart enough to profit from them,
and strong enough to correct them.
.
Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
.
.
(6) WISDOM
A wise man changes his mind;
a fool, never.
.
Education requires a lot of books
-- wisdom requires a lot of time.
.
The first step to wisdom is silence
-- the second is listening.
.
Wise men think without talking;
fools talk without thinking.
.
A wise man has something to say;
a fool has to say something.
.
The truth of a matter,
is not determined by
how many people believe it.
.
A handful of common sense,
is worth a bushel of learning.
.
Intelligence is like a river
-- the deeper it is,
the less noise it makes.
.
The intelligent person
is not only open to new ideas
-- he looks for them.
.
Smart, is when you believe
only half of what you hear
-- brilliant, is when you know
which half.
.
When you argue with a fool
-- two fools are arguing.
.
.
(7) EDUCATION
No man really becomes a fool,
until he stops asking questions.
.
Everyone is ignorant
-- only on different subjects.
.
The recipe for perpetual ignorance,
is to be satisfied with your opinions,
and content with your knowledge.
.
Give your tongue more rest
than your eyes, or ears.
.
Some of the best arguments
are spoiled by people who know
what they are talking about.
.
It is not polite to talk
with a full mouth,
or empty head.
.
Jumping to conclusions,
is not nearly as good
a mental exercise,
as digging for facts.
.
"They say"
is often proved
to be a great liar.
.
.
(8) AGING
Middle age, starts
the day you become
more interested in
how long your car will last,
than how fast it will go.
.
Old age, is when you
get out of the shower ,
and you're glad
the mirror is fogged up.
.
The seven
ages of man:
(1) spills,
(2) drills,
(3) thrills,
(4) bills,
(5) ills,
(6) pills, and
(7) wills.
.
.
(9) POLITICS
Political speeches
are like the horns on a steer
-- a point here and there,
and a lot of bull in between.
.
There is only one fact
politicians need to know:
most people have
very short memories.
.
Politicians are
the same everywhere
-- they promise to build a bridge,
even where there is no river.
.
A politician is an operator,
who takes money from the rich,
votes from the poor,
and then promises both sides
protection from each other.
.
A politician is a man,
who approaches
every problem
with an open mouth.
.
Some people
take the money and run;
politicians run,
and then take the money.
.
Americans used to say,
"Give me liberty."
Today they just say,
"Give me."
.
In America
there is much complaint,
with little suffering
-- in some countries
there is much suffering,
with little complaint.
.
.
(10) OTHER
A minor operation is one
performed on someone else.
.
To enjoy music,
keep your ears open
-- to allow others to enjoy it,
keep your mouth shut.
.
Not every question
deserves an answer.
.
The man who drinks much,
thinks little.
.
Three of
the most difficult
things in life,
are to keep a secret,
forget an injury,
and to make good use
of spare time.
.
Life is what happens
when you are making
other plans.
